I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
