You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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