need another drink. this is the easiest way
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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