Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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