we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
