You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Randomize
