You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize