you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
