I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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