can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
