Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
