You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
