Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
