thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
