i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my shit smells like andre
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize