well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
