what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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