You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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