Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
