North Korea, Best Korea!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
