but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
