She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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