we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have aggressive nipples.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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