friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
