Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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