:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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