spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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