I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
