Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
