just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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