yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
