Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
