"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
