This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So many bounce houses so little time
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
