I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
