she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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