I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
