Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
