Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
