Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
