I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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