did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
