Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Bring me that man meat
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
