Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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