doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
