So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize