Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
