I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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