oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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