wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
