You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize