Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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