Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
