i permit you to call me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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