I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
