At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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