would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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