You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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