we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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