No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
