therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
