I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
