Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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