Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
