i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's official drugs can't kill me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
